#10 – Daniel and the Summer of 1998

Posted by on Jul 24 2016 | 26 great life experiences


Daniel at my place

In 1998, I was 38 years old, working in a job I enjoyed, and in the process of developing a business. But there was one thing missing and that was somebody to share my life with. A friend in Minneapolis had told me about a book I should read by Harville Hendrix, “Getting the Love You Want.” It helped me think about the significance of a primary relationship and the commitment and honesty required for a successful one.

I decided to take a course called “I’m Ready for a Relationship” at the local community centre. While taking the course, one of the challenges was to get comfortable with rejection as that meant you could move on and focus on other people who might not reject you. And the instructor asked us to write a long list of all the things we were looking for in an ideal mate, shoot for 100% and settle for 90%. Yes, it’s true — nobody is perfect!

My business partner had started corresponding with a man in Germany and it inspired me to try an online matching service. Now bear in mind this was May of 1998, so not many people were doing this. I signed up for one that gave me three weeks for free and sent messages to a few of the men who had similar interests.

One of these men wrote smart and thoughtful emails and during the three weeks of correspondence we moved on to our personal emails and arranged to meet. I learned that he was smart (PhD in Mechanical Engingeering), was an adjunct professor at UBC, was an accomplished researcher who published and had international recognition in his field of mechanical pulping. He had a business trip planned back east and took some vacation while there. And during that time we corresponded a lot. He was well aware of the Harville Hendrix book and was pleased that I mentioned it. So, before we let too much time go by and get lost is the fantasy of perfection, we arranged to meet at a coffee shop right after he returned from his trip.

On June 1, 1998, we met and began the glorious process of falling in love. After we had known each other for a few weeks, I showed him the list of things I was looking for in a mate. He read the loooooong list, handed it back to me, then said, “It sounds like me.” That was what amazed me too. Over the years, I have come to learn that he has many more pluses that I hadn’t even considered — like being a great cook! And an amazing handyman!

The weather that summer was glorious. I can barely remember a rainy day from June through September. And we did so many things that were so much fun.


swimming at Locarno Beach

We swam at the beach. We went to the Vancouver Jazz Festival. We went on a camping trip on Vancouver Island, visited my friends in Courtenay, then went all the way to the tip of Vancouver Island to Cape Scott. We brought back fresh crab to share with a friend of his visiting from Montreal.


Cape Scott, Vancouver Island


Black Tusk

That was also the summer we hiked “Black Tusk“, all in one day. We went with my brother, and it was the hottest day of that summer. We were so hot that we swam in the ice cold glacier fed water of Garibaldi Lake.

We rode our bikes, we enjoyed each others’ company. We went to movies and even met each others’ families. My mom, Maureen, quickly fell in love with him too!

I am forever grateful that I had the experience of falling in love and spending my life with an extraordinary human being.

I love you Daniel.



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One Response to “#10 – Daniel and the Summer of 1998”

  1. […] 11. Daniel and the summer of 1998 […]

    18 Aug 2016 at 6:30 pm

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